#source: Reddit

[incorrectuntamedmodaozushiquotes]

Drunk!Wei Wuxian, to Lan Wangji: Please don't think bad about me, 'cause I'm drunk. I'll be a good wife, I know where to buy good tomatoes and cucumbers.

[my-deer-legolas]

[incorrectdccomicquotes]

A young Dick Grayson Robin still learning English: Does your doors don’t have locks?

GCPD Officer: Does your English haveth good?

Robin: You speak English because it is the only language you know. I speak English because it is the only language you know. We are not the same.

[papermariosuggestion]

[incorrectbatfam]

16-year-old Dick: You know what, I think it's time we started swearing. When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll swear first and then you.

12-year-old Jason: Okay.

[downstairs]

Bruce: What do you want for breakfast?

Dick: I'll have Cocoa Puffs, bitch.

Bruce: Go to your room.

Bruce, to Jason: And what do you want?

Jason: Dunno but it won't be fucking Cocoa Puffs.

[incorrect-alnst]

[grizzlyofthesea]

"A Renaissance Painting of Masculine Melancoly"

[gothamundernightlight]

Incorrect Batfam Quotes:

Jason: I hate when people are like… “You’ve only got one family, you should forgive them?”

Jason: No! You’ve only got one appendix, but when that f*cks up your health, you cut that sh*t out of your life.

Jason: Same rules apply!

Tim: I totally agree. I had my healthy appendix removed just to show my other organs I won’t tolerate any bullsh*t.

Jason: See this guy…wait what???

Tim: My spleen didn’t get the message though :(.

Jason: ?!?

[emmikay]

Achilles: If you had to separate your dogs from 41 other identical dogs that were all equally excited to see you, how would you determine which dogs were yours?

Patroclus: I would take my 50 dogs home and live like a king.

[incorrectuntamedmodaozushiquotes]

Drunk!Lan Wangji, to Wei Wuxian: I’m not a violent guy. If there was a ghost up there at that stop sign, I would just let him pass. Even if it wasn’t his turn, I still wouldn’t punch him.

[my-deer-legolas]

[tf2incorrectquotes]

[papermariosuggestion]

X

[nadien-aqui1]

[incorrectbatfam]

Damian: Has anyone else heard of leaving an "example lobster" when cooking lobsters?

Damian: My father claims that plenty of people do it and he learned it from his butler but it’s a ridiculous and horrifying process.

Damian: For those who haven’t heard of it, it’s when you buy lobsters to cook by boiling them and you leave only one alive. My father would always set the lobster down in front of all the cooked lobsters and make it watch while my family ate all the other lobsters. After that, they put the lobster in a cooler and drive it to the beach and send it back out into the ocean. The "joke" is that the lobster is supposed to tell the other lobsters of the horrors it saw. Has anyone else heard of this or was I born into a family of sociopaths?

[later]

Damian: I have concluded from people’s reactions that this is not standard procedure by any means and my family is a little bit insane.